(THEME SONG PLAYING)
(DISTANT CHIRPING)
(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)
Meatball party!
-Who wants meatballs?
-I want meatballs!
Then you get meatballs!
I want meatballs!
But I'm a vegetarian.
Then you get tofu meatballs!
Ooh! What are the meatballs?
You're about to find out.
Keep it down.
I'm trying to read.
Coming at you, girl.
Meatball party!
Do you know what time it is?
ALL: Mystery meatball time!
-Ah, who's gonna get it?
-(BEEPING)
And the mystery meatball
goes to
-(BEEPING)
-Raven!
Why do you always
have to force everyone
to do what you think is fun?
Because everybody
loves meatballs.
Eat, eat, eat the meatball!
Eh...
Shh...
Eat the meatball!
(DISTANT HOWLING)
(OWL HOOTING)
(SCREAMING)
Eat the meatball!
Eat the meatball.
(QUACKING)
(EERILY) Eat the meatball.
Fine!
I'll eat your stupid meatball.
♪ She gonna eat it,
she gonna eat it
♪ Mmm-mmm, she's gonna eat it
♪ Eat it, she's gonna eat it
♪ Mmm-mmm, she's gonna eat it
CYBORG: ♪ Meat, meat, meat,
meat, meat, meatball
-One mystery meatball
coming up.
-(BELL DINGS)
(UNENTHUSIASTICALLY) Ew...
This looks delicious.
My tooth... What did you put
in that thing?
Well, it's a cyborg meatball.
So it's half meat, half robot.
(LAUGHS)
(FAKE LAUGHS)
Of course, it is.
Hey, Ray,
how's that tooth doing, huh?
Looks like
someone's giving you
the silent treatment.
Silent treatment?
I love the silent treatment.
So, Raven...
Don't say anything
if I can wear your cloak.
Awesome! Thanks.
Let's see if it fits.
Mmm. (SNIFFS) Fresh.
Look at me, I'm Raven.
(IMITATING RAVEN)
Darkness... Death...
Skulls and bones...
(ALL LAUGH)
Don't say anything if I can
use your spell book to turn
the couch into a burrito.
Hmm?
Awesome!
(CASTING SPELL)
(CROAKING)
Oops! I got this.
(CASTING SPELL)
-(NEIGHING)
-Almost had it.
(CASTING SPELL)
Don't say anything if...
I'm not talking
'cause that stupid meatball
cracked my tooth!
(SCREAMING)
Ah!
(GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
Ow!
Uh... Er... Raven?
You, uh, said something
about a cracked tooth?
And this crack is like
a portal from which
terrible things escape
every time you open
your mouth?
I'm guessing this has
something to do with
you being part demon.
You have an octopus
living in your mouth?
Are you that...
-(BEAST BOY SCREAMING)
-ROBIN: Close your mouth.
Close your mouth!
Ah!
-We have to get you
to a dentist.
-No way!
-I hate dentists!
-Ow!
Oh...
Argh!
Ow!
Ugh!
Why does it keep going for me?
(FINGERNAILS SCREECHING)
Oh!
Sorry, Rave.
We draw the line
at devouring teammates.
We're taking you
to the dentist.
(DISTANT TELEPHONE RINGING)
Whoa, guys!
If they seal that tooth,
Beast Boy will be
stuck in there forever.
Well, nothing we can
do about it now.
I believe there
is still time to stop--
(YELLING)
Can't you see I'm reading
an important periodical?
Found the pork chop
hiding in the tree.
Now, where are you,
you tricky spool of thread?
DENTIST: Open wide.
(ROBIN HUMMING)
-You know, Goofus reminds me
of Beast Boy so much.
-(BANGING)
Too bad
we'll never see him again.
-Argh!
-(THUD)
-So, we all good now?
-What do you think?
No!
We have lost half our team
and Raven still cannot
open her mouth!
What are we going to do?
There's only one thing
we can do.
Meatball party!
Who wants meatballs?
Perhaps, there is
a better option.
Yes.
Perhaps.
Argh!
Can't you see
this is all your fault, Cyb--
(SCREECHING)
Ah!
Clearly, that was your fault.
You're going to communicate
by drawing pictures?
(GASPS)
I love this game!
Force... Angel... No good.
Is that a clock or time?
Hmm...
I always force you
to have a good time?
Booyah! I am so good!
But I thought
that was our thing.
You pretend to hate having fun
and I force you to have it.
Sometimes you just want to
do your own thing.
Genius! How did I put that
together with just a drawing
of a snake and an upside down
happy face, I have no idea!
I didn't realize I made you
feel this way.
When I act this way,
you find me super,
super irritating?
Aw, yeah! I'm on a roll!
Don't you worry, Raven,
I'm gonna make this right.
Open wide.
Ah...
(SCREAMING)
(ROARING)
Uh... Ah!
(ANGRY GROWLING)
Tentacle, whack.
Another tentacle! Whack!
Poke, poke! (GROANS)
Oh!
(SCARED)
There's no way out, bro.
We've tried everything.
Quit it! We're all gonna die!
The only way out
is to seal that crack.
And I got just the thing
to do it.
(SCREECHING)
(BEEPING)
(GROANING)
Argh!
Gah! My mouth tastes
like meatballs.
I know!
We're all super jealous.
Look, Raven, I'm sorry.
Just 'cause I enjoy something
doesn't mean I need
to force it on everyone else.
I won't ever do that again.
Promise?
Promise.
Meatball party!
Sorry, Raven,
I just can't help myself.
♪ If meat is a ball
♪ You can eat it
♪ You can eat it all ♪
Titans, I've assembled you all
here for a staff meeting.
Staff meeting! Staff meeting!
What was that for?
-(BEEPING)
-I've been going over
the performance reviews
and vigilance is down 4%.
Justice, 5%.
Yet, somehow,
horseplay is up 95%.
(NEIGHING)
What?
Now, if you guys were just more
like my staff here...
Ugh... Here we go again.
-What?
-You treating that staff
like it's a person!
They got a great
tuna melt there, too...
Uh, I'm sorry, what, Cyborg?
I missed that. We were
discussing lunch plans.
Yeah. It's super weird, Robin.
Oh, yeah? Well, we think
you're super weird. So, ha!
On Tamaran,
many people communicate
with lumps of wood.
Thank you, Starfire.
Those people are
banished from our city
and fed to the Dorpnug.
You do know
it's just a stick, right?
Uh-oh!
He hates being called that!
A stick?
You better stop
calling him that!
Well, that's what it is.
Mr. Sticky Stickerton.
A stick, stick,
stickitty stick!
(WOBBLING)
Whoa, whoa! Calm down, buddy.
Trust me,
they're not worth it.
Look into my eyes.
Go to your happy place.
(SQUEAKING)
(WHISPERING) Stick.
-I warned you!
-(WHOOSHING)
-What you call a stick...
-Ow!
...is the most refined
fighting instrument
on the planet!
-Perfectly balanced!
-Ooh... Ooh... Ow!
-(ZAPPING)
-Multi-purpose!
And the best friend
a guy could ask for.
But I thought
I was your best friend.
-No!
-Oh! Ow!
Bottom line, this staff
is the best sidekick
any hero could ever have.
-Oh, what's that?
-(WHISPERING)
Oh, yeah, burger sounds great,
buddy.
They got that Kaiser bun th-
You driving?
(SIZZLING)
(HEAVY FOOTSTEPS)
Ugh. Anyone seen the plunger?
Why not use Robin's staff?
Yeah, he seems to think
it can do any job.
(FLUSHING)
(INDISTINCT DIALOGUE)
(WHOOSHING)
Wow, this stick is awesome!
(GROANING)
(ALL ARGUING)
I love this stick.
-(CYBORG'S SIREN BLARING)
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, dudes,
I got a solution.
(GRUNTING) There.
Ooh... I think you broke it.
Aw, snap! Literally.
Robin will be greatly upset.
Then no one better tell him.
Maybe I can put this together
with a little magic.
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
-(POWERING DOWN)
(ZAPPING)
(YAWNING)
Morning, guys.
Anybody seen my staff?
-Uh-uh.
-(NERVOUSLY) Nope.
-Sorry.
-(STAMMERING)
We broke it!
What?
Yeah, your stick got broke.
But, we taped it together!
Good as new. Here you go, bro.
-Yeah, I can still use this.
-(WHOOSHING)
-Sure you can, bud.
-(SCREECHING)
I have a feeling
everything's gonna be A-O-K.
A-O-K, yeah.
(LAUGHING)
(ROBING GRUNTING)
Everything is not A-O-K!
(SOBBING)
(WEEPING LOUDLY)
(SOBBING) It's not fair.
It worked so well before.
(WHIMPERING)
(SNORING)
(SOBBING)
-Argh!
-(BOMB BEEPING)
(SOBBING AND GRUNTING)
Sad punch... Sad punch!
Frowny kick!
(ROBIN YELPS)
(VEHICLES HONKING)
(LOUD CRASH)
Oh, how I hate when Robin
glorbnaks with the sadness.
Yeah, bro needs a new stick.
But you heard him,
that staff was irreplaceable.
If a spell won't work,
there is one place
he could get a new one.
(SOBBING)
Robin...
(BLOWING NOSE)
What?
Ugh... I know a place where
you can find a new staff.
One that's even better
than the last one.
There can never be
another staff! Never!
(WHISPERING) Never!
(SNIFFLING) Look,
I don't want a new staff.
What if it was magic?
I like magic.
Then you have to journey
to the ancient Universe Tree.
The tree that will
heal your pain
and give you a new staff.
The Universe Tree? (SNIFFLING)
-How do I find it?
-Make no mistake.
The quest is long
and dangerous.
You will have to scale
the Mountain of Doubt,
pass over the Infinite Chasm,
and only when you see
the Falcon of Truth
will you be halfway there.
And finally, you will arrive
at the Universe Tree.
Is there somewhere I can
drive to instead?
-No!
-(GRUNTS)
(WIND WHISTLING)
(FALCON SCREECHING)
Whoa... This must be
the Universe Tree.
(ANGELIC SINGING)
Ah...
I am, indeed. I have been
waiting for you, Robin.
You can talk?
Of course, I can talk.
I am the magic tree
of Elderioth.
In fact,
I speak many languages,
some only known to demons
and fairy-folk.
I've come to find a new staff.
It would appear you have
already found one.
(CHUCKLES)
-This?
-You see, Robin, your journey
was not about finding...
Yeah, this is a root!
I ripped it out of
the side of a filthy mountain.
-It's got bird dookie on it!
-(BIRD CAWING)
-Wait! Don't do...
-(ROBIN GROANS)
I want a magic staff.
I'm afraid you do not
understand.
The staff is merely... Ow! Ow!
Hey! What are you doing there?
(GRUNTING)
Came here for a staff,
gonna get a staff!
You're missing the point.
Ow... Ow! Ow!
Okay, that's starting to hurt.
(CHAINSAW BUZZING)
(MOTOR WHIRRING)
Please. If you stop now,
I may yet survive.
(ROBIN YELLING) Timber!
(SNAPPING) Not bad.
(WHISTLING)
How could you cut me down!
I have been here providing
wisdom to travelers
since the beginning of time!
(THUNDER CRASHING)
-Sounds boring.
-A little bit, yes.
Well, now you're going to
get to see the world
and hit people in the face.
That could be
a nice change of pace.
You know,
my other staff talked,
but never really out loud.
It was only kind of
in my head.
This might actually work out.
BOTH: We are the magical
tree custodians,
guardians of the forest.
Prepare to be punished!
Knee smack!
Custodian poke!
-Ear bite!
-(CUSTODIAN GROANING)
Huh...
My old staff didn't bite.
Do I look like your old staff?
I've assembled you all here
for a staff meeting.
-Staff meeting! Staff meeting!
-CYBORG AND RAVEN: Ow!
-Staff meeting! Staff meeting!
BEAST BOY AND STARFIRE: Ow!
BEAST BOY: Ouch...
Check it out.
I have a new staff,
even better
than the one before.
(ANGELIC SINGING)
It appears you are
in much better spirits.
Thanks to Raven.
This guy is great!
Then I guess you don't want
your old one back.
-My staff!
-Oh...
(LAUGHING) You're alive!
-Yeah, what's that?
-(WHISPERING)
Oh, yeah, buddy.
I missed you too.
I finally figured out a spell
to put it back together.
We've got a lot of
catching up to do.
What?
Oh, yeah,
a movie sounds great.
What are you going to do
with me?
Oh, I know exactly what to do
with you.
For 3,000 lives of men,
I have bestowed
wisdom and knowledge.
I was not made for this!
Man, you talk too much.
(STAFF GURGLING)